And today I sh*t my pants
- Rachel S Wakelin
- Jun 23, 2015
- 3 min read
So my Cambridge Diet Consultant came round and as I suspected my weight was still 88kilograms or 13 stone 12lbs. My BMI 30.45 - My target weight is 11 stone/BMI 24 - I can do this !!!!!
Week 1 - 3 Cambridge Diet products per day from chocolate milkshakes, soups, spaghetti bolognese or risotto. Drink 2.25 litres of water per day, easy peasy. No tea, lattes, cappucinos or frappes though. How hard can it be, right?
Your body needs to go into ketosis, so that it burns the fat already stored. Oh my lord, not as easy as it looks. The first week consisted of me going on lots of walks and having an extremely clean house. If hunger pangs got to much I would go to bed early. Weigh in day came ~ 3.5lbs gone. Are you kidding me - is that all?
And then someone posted a picture on the support group of what 3.5lbs of fat looks like. The following week the same weight loss, and I have to admit cooking for the children isn't so easy when you're craving carbs. One night I made the girls chilli with rice and it smelled so good after my powder chicken and mushroom soup, I couldn't resist. Yes, I caved in but not completely. I got the smallest childrens blue ikea bowl out of the cupboard and half filled it with rice and topped it with the chilli ~ it tasted amazing !!!! But the guilt after eating it, so wasn't worth it. Thankfully I still managed to lose otherwise I would have beem really disheartened.
Week 2 ~ The hunger pangs have shifted and I seem to be able to cook more without craving the foods. All is well.
My youngest daughter Savanna has been at nursery now since last September and seems to manage to bring every cold, flu, bug home with her for us all to share, she's good like that.
The last bug was violent just after new year and it was both ends, awful. I, of course shared it with my boyfriend, would've been rude not to. So he spent his birthday sitting on a toilet and throwing up in a bowl (lovely!!) That's when you know its love, when your boyfriend has it coming out of both ends, has back splash down his trousers and yet you still love him.
So, at the weekend she was sick, not a great deal, and mainly liquid. After a day or two she seemed fine. I put it down to having a cold the week before and seeing as it was early in the morning, thought it may just be icky stuff that is on her chest. You know what I mean.
Constipation is one of the problems on this diet that some people suffer with and last night I felt really bloated and constipated, I needed to go but couldn't. I've never felt like that before, so went for an early night in bed. Today I managed to go with avengeance, thankfully I was at home, and thankfully only the children were about. Because did I go to the toilet to do my business........nope. I actually sh*t ,myself whilst sitting at my computer, yes. What I thought was a sneaky little silent fart (because us women don't fart, and if we do they're silent!) turned out not to be just a fart, but a follow through and right down my leg too. In shock, I stood up and then wasn't sure quite what to do. I waddled up to the toilet to sort myself out, whilst my teenager is killing herself with laughter and probably posting it on snapchat or whatever other app she was using at the time.
Now was it a bug? Or was it the fact I was constipated yesterday? Do I take Imodium or should I let nature take its course? What if it happens again? I'm volunteering at the school tomorrow ~ God, how embarrassing would that be? And I have an interview, my nerves will be kicking in anyway......Eeep.
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